Success Stories

Beth, age 28, spends Wednesday evenings sitting in a room with two women. She can relate to one of them with her own stories of relationships overshadowed by jealousy, control, and violence. The third woman in the room is asking the other two to examine everything from their belief systems to their body language, to understand how things got so bad.

This is the Lesbians Domestic Violence Intervention group at Wellspring Family Services. Its goal is to help people who use abusive behavior realize how they have instilled power and control in their relationships, and how new beliefs are the only way to stop the violence.

"It's like staring at yourself naked in the mirror on your fattest day," Beth says. "As much as it sucks to be here, I need to be here." Beth's problems became public record in August 2004, the first time she was arrested for punching her girlfriend. About a year later she was apprehended on another charge of domestic violence and faced jail, probation, and a court order to attend a state-certified domestic violence program.

"I used to honestly believe that how I felt was the only thing that mattered - how what she did made me feel," Beth says. "I now know that this is an extremely selfish way of existing. I started listening, rather than just talking."

Beth has been in the group for more than a year and has seen three other women graduate. She knows that she still has a lot of work to do herself.

She also knows from talking openly to friends, and from what she hears around the gay and lesbian community, that there are others who need this group. She's encouraging them to find help.

Domestic violence occurs as frequently in homosexual as in heterosexual relationships. Go to www.family-services.org to learn more about our domestic violence prevention services, including mens groups and "DV Dads."